Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
