it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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