I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
