There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
