brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sarcasm needs its own font
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
