She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
