so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
