my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
