We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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