we're blogging at a bar
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
