Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize