You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
