So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
