He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So squirting runs in the family.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
