Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
