guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
