Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
