Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
