Little spoons don't ask big questions
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
