is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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