But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
