we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
