I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
