All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
