you have to choose: penises or morals?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
