I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
