don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
