Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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