i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
