he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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