btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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