we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
