Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
