You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
