My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
