I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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