it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
