Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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