In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
