but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
