Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
