I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
