remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
