just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
