she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
