Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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