No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
