i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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