I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
