To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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