the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
