i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
