I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
