Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
