i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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