brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
