I could make wine with my vomit
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
