Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
