Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
