In the future we'll all be gay
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
