Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
