If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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