Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
