What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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