420 ftw
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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