when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
