I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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